A young man was travelling on an airplane when the man next to him started to make some polite conversation.  “Are you travelling on business or pleasure?” the man asked.  “Pleasure,” the young man answered, “actually I’m returning from my honeymoon.”  “Where’s you wife?” The man asked.  The young man explained that the plane was full and they were unable to sit together.  The man then offered to give up his seat so the young man could sit with his new bride.  “Oh, please don’t,” the young man said, “we’ve been together all week and I could really use a break.”

This young man was obviously beginning to wonder what he had signed himself up for.  Whether it occurs after the first week, or several years into the marriage, many couples have found themselves in the same position.  We say, “For better or for worse” at the altar, but let’s be honest – we all expect it to be “better” or we wouldn’t get married in the first place.  The real test in marriage comes when we experience those seasons where things seem worse.  What do we do then?

The reality is that many couples opt for divorce during these seasons of testing.  Everyone is familiar with the statistic that says that 50% of marriages will fail.  We live in a disposable society, and unfortunately perseverance in marriage sounds like too much work for some.  Some of these seasons of testing are even predictable.  Statistics reveal that marriages are often most fragile during the first three years, during the period when there are young children in the home, and during the period just after the children leave home.  But studies also demonstrate that marital satisfaction increases significantly when we simply persevere through these seasons.

I have a friend who is fond of saying that he and his wife have been happily married for thirteen years – they’ve been married for fifteen years, but happily for thirteen out of the fifteen.  We would all like a marriage without any unhappy years, but what we really need is a commitment to persevere through the difficult ones.  My friend wouldn’t have a marriage, much less a happy one, if he and his wife hadn’t committed themselves to persevere through those difficult years.  This is not to say that marriage is always a ‘grin and bear it’ reality.  Our marriages should experience seasons of celebration, closeness and intimacy, but we won’t experience these things without persevering through the periods of testing together.

Regardless of what season you find your marriage in right now, you ought to commit yourself afresh to the lifelong covenant you made with your spouse – “For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do you part.”

Pastor Lee Francois